Ok, so the school year is fast approaching, September for us. And I am everyday reminded of the unpleasant, heartbreaking year we had last year. So I am constantly praying that I can somehow make it through this year. While this stress and anxiety rule my life, right now, I am reminded of a song I have grown to love!!, in it says,” I should be strong but again I am depending on you... just hold me while I cry! “
With God's help everything seems to be getting easier, and I am always reminded of the good things, and blessings in my (our) life. But every now and then the pain comes back along with the struggles I am praying to get over. I know we should and need to put everything in HIS hands, but it is human nature to want to be in control. But what of these things can I truly control, and that is what I tell myself every day.
And so I question the things I do not understand,
Why did he try to kill himself? And I get the answer, you found your faith and I answered your humble prayer to get one last chance to witness to him, and I went a step further and brought him back from the brink of death, while the doctors gave him a 2% chance, I said get up and walk!
Why did immigration take him when we needed him? And I am answered, you again found your faith in ME, I took care of you and the children through the loving family of your church! I brought him back when everything was against your family and here he remains!
Why did you bless me with twins and then take them from me? HE gives me the answer that although your pain here is great, I know what you can handle. I give you 4 healthy children to care for and love and raise in my will with the hope of more. I also give you the promise that your arms will not ache for long for your babies will fill them here in heaven with ME. And the reminder not to lose faith.
Why do we struggle financially when we give what is yours? I am answered with; do I not provide you a roof, clothes, and food to eat? I make a way for you every day and that is all I promised!
So as a Christian I know the road may be long, filled with struggles and suffering, but my comfort is, HE already knows! In every heartbreak, in every sorrow, in every tear shed HE knows what is best! Though he does not promise the road will be easy, HIS AMAZING grace helps me make it through every day. HE promises that my trials will only make me stronger, and through it all my faith has grown and I have learned to trust HIM more!
And so I pray that HE gives me strength, for I am weak. A weakness, I pray, that will not overwhelm. I pray that my faith will remain strong no matter the trials. I pray that HIS light shine through my weakness so that all who are watching, especially my children, see HIM instead of me, for I am nothing and HE is EVERYTHING!
And it is through the knowledge of answered prayers that I can even consider starting our new year!
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